My Healing Story

When struggles become blessings

I stared at the orange medication bottle in my hand for what seemed like a lightyear. I took a deep breath and knew what I had to do. I stood up, walked to the bathroom and dumped every tiny blue pill into the toilet; I released my life force. 

Rewind 3 years back, to 13 years old. I was sat down and informed that my mother had passed away after years of drug and alcohol addiction. My dad was in prison. I laid on my bedroom floor wondering how I was going to survive in this world if neither of my parents, the people who gave me life, could. 

At the age of 13, I felt a lack of security. I felt like no one could understand the pain or confusion I was experiencing. I thought that some people were meant to be happy, and others, not so much. 

This spiraled into a nightmare as I’m sure you can imagine. I couldn’t focus in class, I was either sleeping from emotional exhaustion or daydreaming. I dealt with what I would call now an eating disorder, coming from a place of never feeling adequate. I felt a lot of anger toward life and didn’t know how to get out of the hole I felt stuck in. 

At the age of 15, I started taking two types of ADHD medication. It killed my appetite & cloaked my personality. On days that I would run out of my prescriptions, I would feel lifeless. I continued having to up my dosage due to a growing tolerance. I was worried that I would have to take it for my whole life, or else I wouldn’t be able to function in the real world. 

Back to me, dumping my pills in the toilet. This was a pivotal moment for me. I was 16, and glimpses of light were starting to shine through. I had recently been reading about meditation and began opening my mind to new forms of spirituality. My curiosity fueled passionate research regarding any and every societal construct. This included animal agriculture, the government, big pharma, monetized religion, and how they are all so wonderfully (sarcastic) intertwined. Pandora’s box was opened. 

That moment in the bathroom was really nothing but a conscious decision. It was me, accepting the fact that my parents were human, recognizing the generational pattern of pain and confusion, and making a conscious decision to end that vicious cycle. I recognized that the medication, the self- destructive thinking, the pent up emotion; all of it, needed to be released, once and for all. 

I quit my medications cold turkey. About a month later, I adopted a plant- based lifestyle, from the decision to extend my compassion toward myself, other beings, and the planet. I meditated everyday. I delved into everything holistic health related, including but not limited to energetic healing, chinese medicine, Ayurveda, plant medicine, the medicinal properties of herbs and plant foods, combating emotional eating, and more. My confusion was replaced with passion. 

Beside my natural inquisitiveness fueling my holistic healing rampage, everything I implemented really worked. Medication, an eating disorder, unhealthy coping mechanisms; none of this worked. Meditation, plant based eating, learning mind control; these things made a drastic impact on my life. I slowly started to feel more confident, energetic, and most importantly, whole in myself.  

Ever since, growth has been beautiful but certainly not easy or comfortable. Healing hasn’t been about pretending to be perfect or having everything figured out; on the contrary. Healing is recognizing those inner wounds and saying “Hi, I see you! You are loved” and making the decision every day to mend them.

 When childhood- stemmed feelings of inadequacy arrive (which sometimes they still do), instead of being hard on myself, I give myself a mental hug and remind myself that I am enough. This is what healing has looked like for me.

 Life has become infinitely more authentic and rich because of these moments where I allow myself to feel and then loving myself for it. 

Choosing growth, delving headfirst into my passion, and moving upward instead of drowning in my thoughts: this was what saved me from the path of self destruction. 

Now, to present day, a part of aligning with my truth is responding to my purpose. This, I am confident to say, is to provide hope for those of you who are also ready to end limiting programs and habits, big or small, and live out the life you genuinely deserve. 

Witnessing and guiding the transformation in others is what I am most passionate about. For me not to be working in the field of health and healing, would be steering off my divine path. If there is anything I can thank my challenges for, it would be for revealing these truths to me. 

There are many other details of my life that have shaped me into the person I am today; these parts I have just shared are just a few stops on my journey. I intend to be vulnerable and share more as long as it displays a message of hope. 

Sharing the darkest times of my life isn’t difficult because I consider those times some of my most impactful blessings. They provided me with the clarity and strength required for me to bloom into my truest self. I now view my life challenges as opportunities to rise above and get to know myself and others on a deeper level. This extends into my practice; I will always remind my clients, friends, and loved ones that whatever you are experiencing in your life, whether it’s bliss or tribulation, it is a vital part of your journey, and the moment you truly embrace it is the moment you are liberated. 

If you have also recognized the generational pain and confusion passed down into your present life, whether it’s eating problems, drug/alcohol addiction, limiting beliefs, financial struggles, or any form of self- destruction, congratulations. Now that you know that it is there, you have the power to end it. Your choice in doing so is the decision to heal generations before you and clear the path for future generations. Choosing to love and heal yourself is actually one of the most selfless decisions you will ever make. 

Moving forward, I couldn’t be more thrilled to announce the upcoming release of a 1:1 healing program called The Radiant Womban. This transformational program is designed exclusively for women. I have been investing my energy into developing this program for nearly a year, though it contains multiple years of research and experience. This is where all my passion and energy has been invested recently, along with continuing my own path of self- growth. If you are a woman, or a man who knows a woman who is undergoing symptoms of a hormonal imbalance (acne, mood swings, cramping), and are interested in natural birth control, or is seeking empowerment to take on life like the badass female that they are, here’s more information about The Radiant Womban. <- Click. Please remember, your story and transformation is just as important to me as my own. We are all on this journey together. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Now that you know a little about me, I’d love to know more about the experiences that make up you. Email me at gabdozier@gmail.com or feel free comment below. 

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5 Ways to Naturally Cope with ADHD

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Coping with a fast paced mind

 

In my last post, I discussed the road toward being diagnosed with ADHD and why I chose to stop identifying with the label and quit taking medication. My intention now is to share with you how I cope with my right sided, fast-paced mind in a logical and number driven society.

I know I’m not the only one who’s struggles with staying focused. There are 6.4 million American children, about 5 percent of the population that are diagnosed with ADHD. The way I see it, there are 6.4 million children that are led to believe that there is something wrong with them because their mind doesn’t fit society’s standards. Taking medication to alleviate a personality trait is a very recent societal invention, one that works for some, but not for everyone. 

So whether you feel that you are frequently distracted, or you have been clinically diagnosed with ADHD, these natural coping mechanisms have the power to make a drastic difference in your life if you let them.

Here are the 5 methods I used to stop taking ADHD medication and harness my mind to reach a higher potential:

  1. Grow appreciation for how your mind works

 The fact is, your mind is incredibly unique and has a perspective unlike anyone else’s. The first step to coping with ADHD is to no longer view your thoughts as your enemies, and rather love yourself for the complexities in how you think. Stop being so hard on yourself and feeling inferior to those around you. With doing this, you will find a decline in negative emotions which will help you to harness your energy where you want it. If you keep emphasizing how hard it is for you to focus, it probably will be hard. If you keep telling reminding yourself how beautiful your mind is and how your concentration keeps improving, it most likely will.

  1. Edit your lifestyle

When I realized why school was making me so unhappy and that it was an institution not designed for my personality, I decided to do online school which would give me more flexibility and time to complete my assignments. Instead on focusing on why it was so hard for me to concentrate on math, I chose to focus on what I excelled in, which was writing and other creative subjects. You have complete power over your life, which means you have the authority to make the changes that will empower you instead of drain you. Write a list of changes you can make in your life that’ll tailor to your mind. It might seem hard or out of our comfort zone, but just one change might dramatically alter your day to day happiness.

  1. Eliminate substances that contribute to your problems

For me it was Red 40, alcohol, and animal products. None of those things were fueling me with the energy I needed to complete the tasks I needed to. When you have headaches, indigestion, and mood swings, it can really contribute to your ability to remain focused. When your body feels energized and healthy, it is much easier to work toward your goals. Learn what substances and foods are wreaking havoc on your life, and work toward avoiding them for the sake of your mental health. After all, mind and body are hand in hand.

  1. Quiet your mind

The most helpful tool I have come across is meditation. When I quit taking medication, I immediately started meditating and continued to do it everyday for a year straight. I healed my mind in inexplicable ways by learning how to let my thoughts pass by instead of clinging to each and every one that pops up. So take time out of your day, even if it’s just five minutes, to quiet your mind and let each though float by without associating to it. For me it has been a replacement for adderall and has brought me much more peace and happiness than medication ever did. For more information on how to meditate, check out my FAQ page and keep an eye out for upcoming articles.

  1. Take action toward loving yourself

Besides just loving yourself in general, it is important to do the little things to take care of your mind and body so that you can be your highest self and not have to worry about your ADHD. It might just be drinking more water, making sure you get enough sleep, or taking a bath with some candles lit. Take the small steps toward becoming your healthiest self and you’ll be surprised to see how much it affects your mind and thoughts. Check out my soul page, which covers 5 tips in loving yourself on a deeper level. This has been an essential part of growing past the label of ADHD, and associating with all the depth my personality has to offer. I’m sure it will be for you too.

 

 

These are some of the most important actions you can take toward growing and healing from inner turmoil caused by your complex mind. The last thing I could have done for my mental health, which I did not include in any of those points, is taking CBD on a daily basis. It has provided me with mental clarity so that I’m able to focus on my goals and feel like my best self. If you’d like to learn more about it, check out my artcile, An Intro to CBD!

No matter what you think might be wrong with you, I challenge you to connect with your highest potential and recognize the miracles within your life. And remember, ADHD is not the limitations of who you are as a human being.

My FAQ page offers a ton of written support regarding overcoming life’s challenges and becoming our highest selves.

As I disclaimed in my post regarding why I quit my ADHD medication, my intention is not to persuade anyone into quitting their medication without a doctor’s supervision and these methods at which coping can be paired with or without prescriptions.

Why I Stopped Using ADHD Medication

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Coping with a fast paced mind

I’ll start from the beginning. When I was in early High school, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I had an awful time sitting through class and would often drift into la la land while the teacher lectured us about postulates and linear equations. I took advanced classes and would go home with a stack full of homework. The challenge was, my attention span lasted about 10 minutes. Which meant I would sometimes stay up all night long trying to complete a few hours worth of homework.

Beyond that, I dealt with emotional turmoil because instead of properly processing the challenges I went through, I let my fast paced mind take hold of me. So, under the illusion that a doctor would fix my problems, we scheduled an appointment.

I went in, told my doctor how I felt, and he sent me home with a few evaluations that I was told to give to my teachers and older family members. I brought them back after everyone filled them out, and he had them assessed. He told me I had a high chance of having ADHD. There is no way to physically test if someone has it or not, so it is presented in terms of likelihood.

He prescribed me two medications. Vyvanse in the morning, which is a stomach activated non-stimulant, and then Adderall for when the Vyvanse would wear off.

I can definitely say that it helped me focus. In fact, it made me hyper-focused. I would meticulously clean my room, find enjoyment out of math homework for once, and most of the time forget to eat. I was becoming really skinny because I religiously exercised and never had an appetite.

At first, I was happy with the “improvements” it was bringing to my life. But after some time, I started to see the flaws in which it brought. For starters, I had to continue upping my doses because I quickly grew a tolerance for both medications. I was nervous that I’d have to keep increasing my dosage for the rest of my life. Second of all, if there was a day where I ran out of medication and couldn’t get a refill, I felt absolutely incompetent. I would stay in bed all day and feel brain dead. Lastly, I realized that I no longer enjoyed writing, music, or art as much, and those have always been some of my deepest passions.

I could tell people were worried about my weight and could sense a change in my personality. It was a very serious thing at a young age to be completely shifting the chemical foundation of my mind.

It wasn’t until I started learning more about the structure of our society that I started understanding why I thought I needed medication to be normal. Humans are expected to act and be a certain way, which is why the school systems are seeking high test scores instead of encouraging kids to focus on their passions. I realized I was taking a few pills to conform to the expectations of others.

The fact is that I have always had a strong right side of the brain, and have felt more in tune with my creativity than my logical thinking. As soon as I learned to appreciate this instead of view it as a hindrance, I felt motivated to come off of my medication and find natural ways to cope with my fast paced mind. As easy as it made my life and as addicted I was, I still chose to quit overnight because I knew in my heart that it was taking away from my true potential.

I was on pharmaceuticals for about a year, and it has been almost four years since I have used them. When I look back at my writing during that time, I see an author restricted from her highest capabilities and stuck in structure rather than truth. It has been liberating to find relief in substances that bring genuine positivity to my life, instead of feeling incomplete without taking a few pills.

If you take medication to cope with your inner challenges, that is okay. But if you feel that it is bringing you more problems than solutions, it might be time to start exploring various ways to cope. If you are experiences side effects that are negatively impacting your health, I highly encourage you to talk to your doctor as there are always alternative solutions. If you’ve felt an underlying need to stop taking your medication, again, have that discussion with your doctor.

I want to remind you that are whole, complete, and absolutely beautiful whether you take medication or not. The purpose behind this article is to inspire anyone who feels incompetent in this society to assess your qualities and find the positives in what seems to be your downfalls.  It is also my intention to be as raw as possible so that we can share this imperfect human experience together. And as always, I encourage you to envision the life that aligns to your truth, and live it out.

To see my methods at which coping with my distractions, check out my article 5 ways  to Naturally Cope with ADHD.

Thank you for reading my story, and if you wish to contact me regarding this topic or how to align with your highest self, sign up below:


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Disclaimer: that I am by no means encouraging anyone to quit taking prescriptions without doctor supervision. This is a touchy subject and I have no intention to offend anyone who uses medication as a tool in their life, as this is simply based off my own experiences. I encourage everyone to follow the path that feels right to you.